Birth Story

At long last .. the blog that has been holding up all the other blogs … no really, there is a wicked backlog around here … 

So here it is .. because there is nothing like knowing TOO much about someone. If you don't want to hear it .. plug your ears .. or do the digital equivalent .. close the window now .. no, I mean right now .. this stuff moves FAST! 

If my birth story were to be in pictures .. yes, I dreamed of a beautiful, elegant, moving photo montage set to some amazing song .. but, what I got was this ..

8:35AM 

8:36AM

10:38AM 

Yes, like that fast.   I'm still working on digesting it. I know that every baby 'writes' their own story and man, she did just that! But first let's back up a bit .. I knew I was on the books for a medically necessary induction so in the week leading up to it I tried everything I was comfortable doing to try and get this party started. I walked (slowly) in 90+ degree weather, we finished the baby room, packed the bags and put the car seat in,.. we .. errr .. did other stuff (come on, munch reads this), ate tons of pineapple (as much as my GD would allow .. it was working .. some ..

I was 3cm and 80% effaced the week before my induction so they canceled the Cytotek they were going to administer the night before the induction (yay, another night in my own bed!). The Friday before I was to go in, I had my Bio-Physical Profile (BPP) done at the specialist .. as usual (remember at this point we were going twice a week). The Capt'n couldn't make it which was 100% reasonable  .. it was the last one, he had gone to the others and honestly, no reason to think anything was going to happen. Baby P measured fine but refused to 'practice breathe'. They ended up keeping me for 30 minutes and using a little vibrating buzzer to wake her up. (Sleeps just like her dad)

The day before the induction I went back to my regular doctor for my last BPP before my Wednesday due date (the official due date was July 25th .. but the doc was 'letting me go' to 39+2 because of my GD .. against the wishes of the specialist who wanted it at 39 even). All measured fine but no matter what he tried, the little one wouldn't practice breathe. The doc even stepped out of the room at one point (I knew he was calling the Birthing Inn to see if they could take me for an emergency induction) .. came back and tried one last time. Lo and behold, she moved and started breathing. Yay baby .. but already worrying mama. 

 Truth, I know that some babies hibernate or sleep a lot in the days leading up to their birth .. if there wasn't a reason for concern .. I would have just assumed she was sleeping in preparation  .. which she probably was because man, she brought the party a day later. 

I had been having some contractions for weeks .. mild Braxton-Hicks I assumed. At one point a week or so before they were so bad while watching a movie at the theater that I thought I may have to leave .. and I sure as heck thought that we'd be skipping our planned dinner out. But once I stood up and walked to the car, they disappeared. The night before I went in, I joked with my husband that this baby was seriously trying to race the doctor because as soon as I left his office, the contractions would pick up .. which was some phenomena I had heard about at birth class. 

But alas, We found ourselves driving the 5 minutes to the Birthing Inn at 7:30AM the next day .. I got there all nervous only to find myself surrounded by nurses (it was a slow morning) with one doing the room set up, one putting in an IV and one asking me questions and putting my information in the system. It was distracting .. this was perfect .. but I felt a little like a lab rat. I balked once mildly when they hooked me up to the IV.  No matter what you learned in birthing class .. it’s harder than you think to say something with your 'big people' voice when you are already nervous. 

In short order I was connected to that "cruel, cruel mistress" known as Pitocin .. and suddenly we were left alone. We started to settle in for the long day by plugging in the music, spending some time hanging out (15 minutes or so), taking a couple funny pictures and giggling like school kids. The nurses were sweet but upped my dosage every 10-15 minutes or so .. and about 45 minutes later the doctor came to break my water. I was still a 3 but fully effaced this time (same as the night before - or close).

The first contraction I truly felt was the one right after they broke my water .. and then I vividly remember thinking that it’s supposed to hurt more once the water was broken. It was stronger but nothing to write home about .. I was still up and talking though it, etc. I remember asking one of the nurses how long the average induction went .. after saying that she can't guarantee anything .. She said something like 14 - 17 hours of labor and then 1-2 pushing. Good to know I thought. I labored on the toilet for about 15 minutes (trying to empty my bowels in hopes not to do so on the bed - foolish, foolish girl) .. the pipes above the toilet were tall and exposed and lined up perfectly with the open section if that horrid hospital gown (again, I had prepared but didn't know how to ask if I could wear my own clothes). It was perfect and the cool kept the nausea at bay. I could feel myself sweating profusely and the Capt'n came in with the labor chart from birth class. He wanted me to know I was in first stage labor (because wanting to labor on the toilet is a sign). How sweet of him.  I, then, made a failed attempt to crawl to the bed .. literally. That lasted one strong contraction and I headed back to the bathroom. 

That was when I started to doubt that seriously that I was still in first stage. Something in me knew that I was nearing transition. My mother had told me about her transition; sweating, chills, nausea .. "like your body was being taken over" she said. Check, check and check. I can't pretend I knew it all though .. because even though I thought I knew I was in transition,.. the logical side to me kept repeating that it couldn't happen that fast .. even when my mom had me it was a quick labor .. but not this quick. So, even though I thought I knew where I was, I was still prepared for the next 14 hours. Because, it was what I expected from the start (long and painful) .. and so, I crawled my way back to bed. 

For the next 20 minutes I was in so much pain .. I didn't have control of my own body. It was almost like convulsions. Muscles tightened in the back making me want to stretch out as tall as I could … and then full frontal belly contraction making me want to curl up in a ball.  I was on fire,.. then shivering .. then nauseous .. and I felt like I had to push but because I expected longer, I was trying not to. I know now, this is why it hurt so much .. I spent that whole time fighting it because it 'wasn’t time'. Keep in mind .. this is only about an hour after I got hooked up and I expected it to be another 10-15 hours of this. I looked at my husband, buzzed the nurse and told him I needed some help with the pain. (I know transition is when most people as for help with the pain .. but again,  I assumed I wasn't there yet and didn't think I could do hours of this). Looking back, no one can (or is meant to) .. because it was that last (and hardest) part. The nurse came in just as another contraction hit (they were on top of each other now) and I looked at the Capt'n and told him to speak for me. Then I gripped the hand rail and curled up in a ball .. relaxing through the contractions be damned .. there wasn’t even any time to breathe. The nurse said she would check me but she was highly doubtful. 

As soon as she checked me .. things got really blurry, very fast. She went right to the door of the room and shouted out "we're having a baby". I was fully dilated and the head was right there. They called my doctor and went searching for the OB-on-call because they weren't sure my doctor would make it back in time (he was only on the other side of the hospital campus, two buildings away). He did though (he ran) and when he arrived, he looked at me and asked if I still wanted to go natural. I had a number of thoughts like .. ‘HA, very funny!’ And ‘I've come this far, why stop now’ .. but in the end, this baby was waiting for no one .. including pain meds .. even if I had wanted them .. which I didn’t as soon as I heard where I was in the process. 

Pushing was like a dream .. not a warm fuzzy dream .. but it felt so much better to do something (a feeling my birth instructor said was possible) .. I kept apologizing .. I pushed for about 20 minutes.  I say that loosely .. when the doctor had me push without the urge it was so much less effective and I mean MUCH .. Baby T really did all the work.  At one point I felt something running down my arm only to look over and see that I had yanked out my IV (the one I didn't really want to start with) .. and I was bleeding .. and no longer on Pitocin .. this was all her.  

Not every contraction was a pushing contraction .. but I tried.  There were a couple times when my doctor tried to get me to push through the light ones, unsuccessfully .. at one point he stopped what he was doing, came right up to my face and said "listen to me.  you can be here for 30 minutes or 4 hours .. the way you were just pushing, it will be hours".  But, I couldn’t force something that wasn’t happening.  On the other hand, he told me to wait at one point .. and I tried, I really did .. but then I had another pushing contraction .. they were like waves at that point .. I think the phrase "not gonna happen" came out of my mouth .. and, she was out .. one push for the shoulders .. and she was laid on me .. the baby girl .. that something in me already knew existed. I looked into my (wonderful, amazing, overwhelmed) husband’s eyes when they gave her back to me .. it is one of those moments I’ll never forget.

 

 And then, it was done.  Literally, 2 hours.  I was in my recovery room for lunch … which remains a joke to this day .. no, I do not like to miss meals.  And the recovery itself was tough .. but good.  I didn't tear and everything went fantastic .. so I probably don't know what tough is.  I bled A LOT .. and someone forgot to offer me pain medication after everything happened .. not that I would have taken it.  Honestly, I do feel a little jipped.  I know, I know, that sounds weird.  I never got to "labor" though.  It all happened so fast .. I don't know what it’s like to have the same experience as others. The Capt’n complains that we spent more time in ONE birth class than we did the entire labor .. its true .. and I dragged him to 12 weeks of them! We hadn’t even unpacked our bags .. heck, some of our bags were STILL in the car! It truly was a completely surreal .. and emotionally traumatic (because of the speed) for both he and I.  I can’t imagine what it looked like to him .. or how much he wanted to help and was left helpless.  For a man like him, that must have been awful.  I makes me choke up just thinking of it. 

The magic of birth took 2 days or so sink in .. the thought of it still makes me a little nauseous .. but much less so these days.  This mom amnesia this it totally real people!  I joke that if I knew that the next one was going to be 2 of the hardest hours of my life .. I would totally do it again.  But its the unknown that's so hard .. the view is totally worth it though.

I haven’t shared the story much partially because it so not typical (being a super-fast labor) and partially because I don’t want to hear ‘well, that must have been nice’ .. or ‘aren’t you lucky’ - NOT THE CASE AT ALL .. and partially because I'm a proponent of natural birth and my birth (as seen by natural birth peeps) was not natural at all .. I reiterate what a great friend told me the night after my baby shower .. the baby writes its own birth story.  The induction wasn't my plan (neither was the IV, breaking of my water, etc.) .. it wasn't ideal .. but it was medically necessary (haters hate if you will, but I wasn't taking the chance of gestating my little one for 9 months and having something happen those last few days) .. and so we rolled with it .. and I did manage to pull off a Pitocin Induced Labor with an Un-Medicated Birth. I read one birth story the other day of a mama who had a similar situation (medically induced induction) and went without pain medication.  I know we are rare .. in fact, she called herself a Birth Warrior .. and in the glow afterwards .. that’s exactly what you feel like.